002. Time to move on

This is the continuation to the "Out of the bubble" post. If you haven't read it, click here.

I was in shock when my evil grandmother told me about my half-sister, but i wasn't surprised at all because i knew my father had some affairs in the past. I couldn't stop thinking about my mom, i was feeling really bad for her. To make things worst, thanksgiving was only a couple of weeks ahead and i was going to be with my parents. You have no idea how awkward was that for me. I felt weird around my dad and i was scare to say something by accident. That didn't happen and by January i was back at the apartment.

All i knew about my half-sister was her name and that she was about to finish college (she was going to be an architech). It became such an obssesion that one day i decided to find her. I went to her college and looked for the list of students working on their thesis (over here everybody have to do a thesis in order to graduate from college) but she wasn't on the list. Then i went to another hall and found the list of graduate students from previous semesters and turns out she was there. My half-sister already finished college, and now i didn't have any other way to find information about her on my own.

I continued with my life, which at the moment was very confusing. Josh was very sweet to me all the time. He used to go the apartment to use my computer, while he was there i was on my bed very close to him. It was hard for me because i had to be careful of not showing my feeling for him. I had to repeat to myself that Josh was straight and nothing will ever happen with him.

I realized that i was wasting my valuable college time thinking about all my family issues and an impossible romance. I had to do something about it. At that moment, i decided to focus on my studies and finally explore all the things i was feeling inside about my sexuality.

I had to go out there and find a guy.